A grasshopper walks into a bar.The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”
Short Dirty Rude Jokes
What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells?Pregnant!
A girl asked me to come over the other day.She said nobody was home.I went over and sure enough, nobody was home!
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A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this… ‘Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The Rude Salesman
The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude.
It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any knickers. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, “If that thing was full of ice cream, I’d eat every bite.”
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Welcome to Rude Text Jokes. This post is on Rude Text Jokes, one line dirty rude jokes and different types of short rude jokes like funny short dirty rude jokes, rude short jokes and some other rude dirty text message jokes.
One Line Short Rude Jokes
Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."
It is well known...
Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.
One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.
Short Dirty Rude Text Jokes
Wife says to her husband, 'Give me some cash because I need to get a bra', Husband replies, 'what would you need to do that for… you haven't got anything to put in it!
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Find lots of short Rude Text jokes - covering every topic from funny to rude text jokes, clean to dirty rude jokes, lawyers to doctors and even stupid people dirty rude jokes also.
Funny Rude Text Jokes
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
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A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?
He smashed his his nose.
Short Dirty Rude Jokes
A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She said, "No dear, save your energy."
He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She said, " I know, I poisoned you."
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Find Rude Jokes and One Line Rude Jokes from Rude Text Jokes.
Rude Jokes and One Line Rude Jokes
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Some Short Rude Jokes
“A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?" ”
“ A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, “Not tonight dear I have a headache.”
The man replied, “Is that your final answer”? She said, “Yes.”
…He said. “Ok, then, I’d like to phone a friend.” ”
For more rude jokes, short rude jokes and rude text jokes, always feel free to visit my Rude Text Jokes Blog.
Here is a list of some Short Rude Jokes and Funny Rude Jokes. Read all Rude Jokes and enjoy.
Rude Jokes and Short Rude Jokes
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. "Mom, " said the little boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work, " she replied. The cabbie ......
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 yearswith only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into ......
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, ......
Funny Rude Jokes and Rude Text Jokes
Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it. The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink. The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks. The Irishman grabs the fly and yells “Spit it out you little bugger!”
An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He narrowed it down to one of two people — Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that whichever one used the water cooler first the following morning would have to go.
Rude Dirty Jokes and Dirty Rude Jokes
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
“The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”
An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!”
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Short Rude Jokes Rude One Line Jokes Rude Short Jokes Rude Text Jokes
I've got some rude one line jokes and rude short jokes for you today…
"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar."
And now you are going to read some short rude jokes. These are really funny rude text jokes, so tell these rude jokes to your friends…
Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra. Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it! Wife: You wear shorts!
And I couple more funny short rude jokes…
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...
Hilarious rude short jokes!
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"
And here some other good one line rude text jokes and short text jokes rude …
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Want to hear two rude short jokes and a long rude text jokes? Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke.
It is well known... Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.
I love short rude jokes! And I like Rude Text Jokes.
