Rude one line jokes, Rude short dirty jokes and Rude Text Jokes

Welcome to my Rude Text Jokes. Here is a list of some short and one line rude jokes.
Read all funny and dirty rude text jokes.

Rude One line Jokes and One line Rude Text Jokes.

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger

Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

Dirty Rude Jokes and some Funny Rude Text

A guy is sitting in a bar with his friends bitching about going home to his wife.

His friends ask him why he doesn't want to go home to such a fine looking woman and he replies...

"Well, the problem is that she has Gonnorrhea"

So what say the friends, flip her over.

"Well, she also has diarrhea" the guy says.

"Yuck, but what about her mouth." The friends chime in.

"Halitosis" the man says.

"Damn, Why would you stay with her?" The friends say.

"Well," the guy replies "She also has worms, and you guys know how I like to fish."


Short Rude Jokes and One line Rude Text

FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.


A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone


A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.

He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."

She said, "No dear, save your energy."

He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."

She said, " I know, I poisoned you."

The above are some of the short and one line rude jokes. For more about dirty and funny rude jokes, feel free to visit my Rude Text Jokes.

Rude Text Jokes and One line Short Rude Jokes for Rude Joke Lovers

One line Rude Jokes

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?
He smashed his his nose.

Short Dirty Rude Jokes

A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.

He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."

She said, "No dear, save your energy."

He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."

She said, " I know, I poisoned you."

For more Rude and Short Dirty Rude Jokes, always visit my Rude Text Jokes.

Rude Text Jokes, One Line Rude Jokes and Rude Jokes

Find Rude Jokes and One Line Rude Jokes from Rude Text Jokes.

Rude Jokes and One Line Rude Jokes

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Some Short Rude Jokes

“A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?" ”

“ A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, “Not tonight dear I have a headache.”

The man replied, “Is that your final answer”? She said, “Yes.”

…He said. “Ok, then, I’d like to phone a friend.”
”

For more rude jokes, short rude jokes and rude text jokes, always feel free to visit my Rude Text Jokes Blog.

Rude Jokes | Short Rude Jokes | Funny Rude Jokes | Rude Text Jokes

Here is a list of some Short Rude Jokes and Funny Rude Jokes. Read all Rude Jokes and enjoy.

Rude Jokes and Short Rude Jokes

• A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. "Mom, " said the little boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work, " she replied. The cabbie ......

• Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 yearswith only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into ......

• A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, ......

Funny Rude Jokes and Rude Text Jokes

• Three men of different nationalities walk into a bar. Each order a glass of Scotch. Each glass has a fly in it. The Englishmen pushes the glass aside with his nose in the air and demands a new drink. The Scottish man picks the fly out and drinks. The Irishman grabs the fly and yells “Spit it out you little bugger!”

• An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He narrowed it down to one of two people — Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.

He finally decided that whichever one used the water cooler first the following
morning would have to go.

Rude Dirty Jokes and Dirty Rude Jokes

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

“The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”

An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!”

For more rude jokes, rude dirty jokes, short rude jokes and rude text jokes, feel free to visit Dirty Text Jokes.

Rude Short Jokes? Check out my funny Rude Text jokes, Rude One Line jokes, dirty Rude jokes text and of course my short rude jokes...

Short Rude Jokes Rude One Line Jokes Rude Short Jokes Rude Text Jokes

I've got some rude one line jokes and rude short jokes for you today…

"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar."

And now you are going to read some short rude jokes. These are really funny rude text jokes, so tell these rude jokes to your friends…

Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!

And I couple more funny short rude jokes…

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there's nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die...

Hilarious rude short jokes!

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"

And here some other good one line rude text jokes and short text jokes rude …

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

Want to hear two rude short jokes and a long rude text jokes?
Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke.

It is well known...
Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

I love short rude jokes! And I like Rude Text Jokes.

For more Rude Short Funny Jokes and one line rude text jokes, feel free to visit Rude Dirty Text Message Jokes.